'Twas fun whilst it lasted.
It's very "kitchy", muzak-esque, which is something that tickled me (almost) pink. If there was a scene in Pulp Fiction involving Vincent and Jules stepped into an elevator, this is what would play in the background. Or if there was another DDR Mario Mix, this would play on the main menu. A very interesting twist in genre. I like it
When the guitar solo comes in, it would help if everything else softened a little bit. The guitar became lost amidst all the other funk elements. And if the "kitchy" feel of it was unintended, then yeah, like ChrisisD said, add more than just a "boom-chick boom-chick" to the drums. Oh, and just change the glockenspiel to another instrument (I think that's what you used for the "tinkly" instrument).
And man, that ending came out of nowhere. I was almost expecting everything to fade away, then BANG! I personally felt let down with that ending, but again, if that's how you wanted it, then it's not wrong. Go ahead and make it a bit longer, too, building up each instrument individually. That'd help, IMHO.
Overall, not bad, just needs a <em>little</em> bit of tweaking.
Good use of atmospheric sounds, the main line's interesting, but it doesn't do much. I almost expect there to be another long main riff over everything. The jump from the end back to the beginning is very jarring, too. If, down the line there come plans to use this as a loop, add a bit more to the end, dying down the bass and synth waves until it returns to just the drum and fuzz line again.
Definitely a good start!
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